Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen....Fillies and Colts..... Madames and Messieurs......
Welcome to our MWM Main Event.... The Bridesmaid Battle Royale!!!
In honor of our National Thanksgiving Holiday.....Pre Feast Pig Out....
We are having our 2nd Annual Twisted Turkey Trot on the Turf.....
Maiden Special Weight ---> (gotta fit in that dress)......
Our contestants today are competing for a Bright Pumpkin Orange
Taffeta & Tulle Bridesmaid Gown..... with plenty of bows and ruffles!!!!
O Yes......This one must be seen to be believed....but you might need
sun glasses to cut down the day-glow glare
Like these.....But "Better".
Dearly Beloved Horse Gang....
We are gathered here today to witness this Befuddling, Bewildering but Beddazling event.
Our special track announcer for today is the Stylish and Outlandish over the top Mega-Star
** Dame Edna Everage **
(and if you don't know who she is, Little Possums.... Then Google It)!!!
Who will win this Turkey Trot Throw-Down??? ...... Who will Say Yes to the Dress???
The music begins and 9 eager contestants are entering the gate ready to race down the aisle:
CIGARSHOP
DUSTY
JOHN HENRY
RUFFIAN
CRIMINAL TYPE
CATALINA
KD
TIGER DANCER
RAVEN
Who will be The Bride today??
And who will win The BOOBY Bridesmaid Prize
The gate opens and Criminal Type and John Henry have shot to the lead.
The rest of the pack are jockeying for position
and there seems to be some less than appropriate behavior.....
Biting, Bumping, Clipping, whipping, boxing, bolting, general mayhem and all sorts of interference.....
it's just a free for all....... A Bridesmaid Battle Royal Rumble!!!
The Stewards have so many objections, they have thrown in their towels and
headed to the bar for several stiff drinks!!!
They are now turning for home......down the stretch......heading towards the Alter / Finish Line....
Coming down the aisle....
In 4th place is The Ring-Bearer ~ CATALINA
Following in 3rd place....is The Flower Girl ~ DUSTY
The excitement builds...who will be the Bridesmaid and who will be The Bride......
It's a very close race for the 2 front runners.....
In 2nd place -- The BridesMaid ....winning the "Stunning" Orange Gown, is ~~ JOHN HENRY
and making it to the Alter 1st ....The Winner's Circle (By $2.20) ~~ CRIMINAL TYPE
A Huge win for the Colts today..... Showing off his fine criminal techniques
and leaving the rest of the field in the dust and wearing some very bad fashion!!
Racing.... Wrestling ..... Cross Dressing.... What kind of contest is this anyway???
One might think the rest of the field was trying to avoid placing at all......Staying far away
from the front of the pack
-$-OFFICIAL ORDER AND PAYOUTS-$-
CRIMINAL TYPE --------$123.20
JOHN HENRY ---------- $121.00
DUSTY ----------------- $91.60
CATALINA --------------$61.00
RUFFIAN --------------- $47.20
RAVEN ----------------- $36.00
KD --------------------- $25.00
CIGARSHOP ----------- $22.40
TIGER DANCER ------ $7.00 --{BACK TO THE 'CAT-HOUSE'}
THE RECEPTION.........
So what the heck is Tiger Dancer doing up at 3am, 4am???
I could say I was "Basting the Turkey" (wink-wink...nudge-nudge).
But let's get real...that's a big fat lie.
This less than domesticated Tiger does not cook!!!
Well not on that scale.
{I think maybe El Prado slipped me some of her meds}
The Twisted Turkey Trot Bridesmaid Battle Royale...
was quite an interesting spectacle.
But all survived to race another day.
After the race...there was quite a reception party.
Everyone was quite festive.
DUSTY -- The Flower Girl.....was handing flowers out to everyone.
CATALINA --The Ring Bearer -- showed up with a very strange date....
who kept eating raw fish (some might call Sushi) and kept looking for his "Precious"
JOHN HENRY -- -- The Bridesmaid.....looked spectacular in his bright orange gown.
He had everyone on the dance floor....dancing the night away.
Our Winner / Bride --- CRIMINAL TYPE --- ended this gala event by tossing the bridal bouquet......
All the single fillies gathered round to nab this most coveted prize......
and once again there was some less than appropriate behavior.....
pushing, shoving, tripping, biting, ...it turned into quite the "Cat Fight".
But in the end...... The bouquet made its' way to...... TIGER DANCER!! {May the Roar be With You}
So......She gets to "SCORE" next week........sounds about right!!!
THANKS again to all those who turned out today for this very "special" event.
May everyone have a wonderful T-Day Holiday!!!!!
Hopefully....if you're not too stuffed.... we will see everyone on Saturday