Mon Dec 25, 2017 10:21 pm
**RESULTS**
GOOD AFTERNOON -&- WELCOME TO
SUPURRR-SATURDAY AT GULFSTREAM PARK
WHERE WE HAVE A SPECIAL SURPRISE!
OUR FEATURE EVENT: THE ''TIGER-DANCER BIRTHDAY'' STAKES
AS A SPECIAL TREAT, EACH RUNNER WILL BE TUTORED
IN A DANCE STYLE THAT MATCHES THEIR 'PERSONALITY' ~
WHICH THEY WILL BE DOING IN THE POST PARADE!
AS AN ADDED INCENTIVE, THE ONE -&- ONLY ZENYATTA
HAS GRACIOUSLY SHIPPED INTO GULFSTREAM PARK
FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF TRYING TO TEACH OTHERS
WHAT SHE HERSELF IS FAMOUSLY KNOWN FOR ~
DANCING IN THE POST PARADE!
NOBODY IS SURE EXACTLY HOW WELL THIS WENT BUT SOON WE
ALL SHALL BEAR WITNESS TO A 1st TIME PROFOUND POST PARADE
DURING THE DANCE SESSION PRACTICE,
ZENYATTA WAS JOINED BY TIGER DANCER
TO TRY AND TEACH CIGARSHOP TO DO THE
"FREESTYLE-FIRE-DANCE"
UNFORTUNATELY, THE OVEREXCITED COLT
WHO APPEARED TO BE DANCING WITH 4 LEFT FEET,
GOT SO OVERHEATED, THE TRACK VET WAS CALLED IN,
AND UPON EXAMINATION, SUGGESTED STALL REST IMMEDIATELY!
SO SADLY, THE CHARISMATIC COLT
WHO ADORES TIGER DANCER
WILL BE ENJOYING THE RACE
FROM HIS CLOSED CIRCUIT TV IN THE STALL
RAVEN WHILE TRYING TO LEARN THE ROCK -&- ROLL JIVE,
GOT SO FRUSTRATED WITH THE TRICKY FOOTWORK,
HE FLEW OFF THE TRACK ~
WAS LAST SEEN HEADED FOR HIS STALL!
POOR PEEPTOAD, HAD AN UNFORTUNATE TURN OF EVENTS
AS SHE WAS LEARNING THE PASSIONATE-PURRRFOUND-POLE-DANCE
WHEN HER REAR LEG SLIPPED OFF THE POLE ~ SENDING THE
FRIGHTENED FILLY HOPPING OFF TO THE INFIELD LAKE!!
.... 
OUR GUEST TRACK ANNOUNCER TODAY WILL BE ~TONY THE TIGER~
THE MASCOT FOR KELLOGG'S FROSTED FLAKES
AND NOW ALSO 'TONY'S TIGER POWER!'
TIGER DANCER FANS ARE HOPING THIS WILL BE
A GOOD OMEN OF THINGS TO COME!
~ AND NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW ~
LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR
OUR NAUGHTY -&- NICE CONTENDERS
RUNNING IN THE 'TIGER-DANCER-BIRTHDAY' STAKES
LEADING THE WAY OUT IS RUFFIAN PRESENTING HER ORIGINAL
VERSION OF THE 'CATNIP-CHEETAH-QUIK-STEP' ~
AS ONLY BEFITTING HER LONG-TIME NICK NAME ON THE TRACK!
NEXT IS CRUZAN ALL FIRED UP DOING HIS INTERPRETATION OF THE
''CRAZY-CACKLIN-CHICKEN-DANCE'' ROUTINE ~
A CROWD PLEASER TO BE SURE HAS EVERYONE ON THEIR FEET DANCIN
NOW HERE COMES DUSTY DOIN HER ''DIRTY-DANCIN-DISCO''
THIS FRISKY FILLY HAS ALL THE RIGHT MOVES WITH THIS ONE!
..... 
HIPPITY-HOP ~ HERE COMES THE ''ENERGIZER BLUNNY''
BOPPIN ALONG WITH HIS BODACIOUS BIZARRE BUNNY HOP!
~ NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ~
HERE COMES THUNDER CAT
STORMIN IN WITH A SEXY SIZZLIN SALSA!
POOR BLUNNY GOT SO DISTRACTED
HIS BUNNY-HOP MISSED A BEAT!
AND NOW THE CROWD IS ROARING
WITH A HUGE APPLAUSE AS
THE BIRTHDAY FILLY APPEARS ON THE TRACK
IN HER GORGEOUS DANCING ATTIRE,
FOR HER TANTALIZING, TIGERRIFIC TANGO!
FOLLOWING THE DANCING TIGER
IS POST-TIME-MIKE PRESENTING
A PRECOCIOUS ~ PROFOUND POLKA!
NOT TO BE OUTDONE, REAL QUIET IS NEXT
DOING A DANCE THAT DEFIES HIS 'QUIET' NAME!
A REALLY RAUCOUS ~ RAMBUNCTIOUS RAZZLE DAZZLE REGGAE!
~WE BE JAMMIN~
FINALLY WE HAVE OUR DEFENDING CHAMPION, CATALINA
WHO HAS WORKED HARD TO OFFER HER BEST VERSION OF THE
CAT-ANKEROUS CAPRICIOUS COMBINATION CAN-CAN-CALYPSO
LET'S HAVE A RESOUNDING ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR ALL OF
THESE FANTASTIC FILLYS -&- COURAGEOUS COLTS
AND A SPECIAL HIGH-4 TO THE ZENSATIONAL ZENYATTA
FOR HER PROFOUND PATIENCE TRYING TO DO
WHAT SEEMED AN IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE
THAT WAS EVEN HARDER THAN WINNING A RACE!
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
THE HORSES HAVE ALL FINALLY STOPPED DANCIN -&- PRANCIN
LONG ENOUGH TO ENTER THE STARTING GATE ~
WE NOW TURN YOU OVER TO OUR GUEST TRACK ANNOUNCER
~ TONY THE TIGER ~
THANK YOU LARRY, I SEE WE ARE READY TO RUN
AND AWAAAAAY THEY ROAR IN THE TIGER-DANCER-BIRTHDAY STAKES...
THE DISCO DANCING QUEEN -&- THE CAPRICIOUS CAN-CAN FILLY
ARE THE FIRST OUT OF THE GATE TAKING A HUGE LEAD OVER THE REST
DUSTY -&- CATALINA LEAD THE WAY BY 15 LENGTHS
NOT 'SIZZLIN' YET IS THUNDER CAT WHOSE SALSA IS SLOW TO START
SHE IS FOLLOWED BY A 'CHICKEN-DANCIN' CRUZAN AND A
SLOW-HOPPIN ENERGIZER-BLUNNY ~ BATTERIES ON LOW FOR NOW
RUFFIAN'S 'CHEETAH-QUIK-STEP' IS IN SLOW MOTION SO FAR
IT'S A WAYS BACK TO REAL QUIET WHOSE ''RAMPAGE REGGAE''
HAS GOTTEN OFF TO A SNAIL SLOW START
MUCH TO THE DISMAY OF THE TIGER DANCER FANS ~
THEIR BIRTHDAY FILLY IS FAR FAR BACK IN THE EARLY GOING
HER 'TIGERRIFIC TANGO' SO FAR IS AT 'TURTLE TEMPO'
OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME
THE DYNAMIC DISCO DANCIN QUEEN IS NOW ALL ALONE ON THE LEAD
AS CATALINA'S ''CAN-CAN'' SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A ''CAN'T-CAN'T''
REAL QUIET FINALLY DEFYING HIS NAME
HAS TURNED 'QUIET' INTO 'RAUCOUS'
AS HE GAINS GROUND QUICKLY ON THE 2 FILLYS IN FRONT
IT'S SEVERAL LENGTHS BACK TO A DUO OF A BAFFLED BUNNY-BLUNNY
AND A SLOWED DOWN SALSA BY THUNDER CAT
POST TIME MIKE, IN POLKA-PURSUIT IS ANOTHER 10 LENGTHS BACK
CHICKEN-DANCIN CRUZAN IS RIGHT ON HIS TAIL
HE IS FOLLOWED BY A SLOWED DOWN VERSION OF THE 'QUIK-STEP'
WHICH IS ANYTHING BUT THAT ~ AS RUFFIAN'S 'INNER-CHEETAH'
IS RUNNING MORE LIKE A SNOOZING NAP TIME KITTY!
WAY FAR BACK IN 'LA-LA LAND' IS THE DANCING TIGER
WHO IS SHOWING NO SIGNS OF INTEREST IN RUNNING ~
THE BIRTHDAY FILLY CONTINUES TO TROT ALONG
IN A TEDIOUSLY SLOW TANGO
WITH A LOT OF GROUND TO MAKE UP
OR SHE MAY BE HEADED TO THE CAT HOUSE!
(CLEVER CUNNING CAT PLAN IN MOTION??)
THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH
THE DIRTY-DANCIN-DISCO QUEEN CONTINUES TO LEAD THE WAY
BUT NOW REAL QUIET HAS REALLY TURNED UP THE RAMBUNCTIOUS
FACTOR CLOSING QUICKLY ON THE FRISKY FAST FILLY IN FRONT!
DEFENDING CHAMP, CATALINA, TRYING DESPERATELY TO PUT
THE 'CAN' BACK INTO HER CAN-CAN IS NEXT
HIPPITY-HOPPIN BLUNNY HAS MANAGED TO SHAKE OFF THE
SEXY SALSA THUNDER CAT AS HE HAS RE-CHARGED HIS
ENERGIZER BUNNY BATTERIES AND NOW IS MOVING UP
AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME
WE CAN HEAR ABBA IN THE BACKGROUND ON THE TRACK SPEAKERS
SINGING: 'DANCING QUEEN' AS DUSTY LEADS THE FIELD TO THE WIRE
REAL QUIET IS GETTING MORE RAUCOUS WITH EVERY STRIDE AS
HE IS JUST OFF THE TAIL OF THE DISCO-DANCIN DUSTY
CATALINA STILL HOLDING ON, NOT LOSING GROUND ~
BUT NOT GAINING ON THE DUO IN FRONT YET ~
SO WILL IT BE > YES SHE ''CAN-CAN'' REPEAT OR?
SUDDENLY THE MUSIC ON THE SPEAKERS IS DROWNED OUT
BY A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD ~
WHAT CAN BE CAUSING THIS FURIOUS FRUCKUS
EVERYONE IS UP ON THEIR FEET AS A BLISTERING BLURR IS FLYING
UP THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACK, PASSING ONE AFTER ANOTHER
AND GAINING ON THE FRONT RUNNING DUO ON THE LEAD
WOW! IT LOOKS LIKE POST TIME MIKE HAS PUT HIS 'POLKA PRANCE'
INTO OVERDRIVE AS HE IS QUICKLY DANCING HIS WAY
RIGHT BEHIND THE TAIL OF 'DISCO DANCIN DUSTY' ~
WHO HAS HAD THINGS GO ALL HER OWN WAY FROM THE GATE!
WITH ONE SUPERSONIC SURGE OF SPEED, THE 'POLKA-PRINCE'
HAS PRANCED RIGHT ON BY PUTTING HIS NOSE ON THE WIRE
MUCH TO THE SHOCK OF A STUNNED 'DISCO DANCIN DUSTY!'
REAL QUIET GOT JUST RAMBUNCTIOUS ENOUGH TO TAKE 3rd
AS DEFENDING CHAMP, CATALINA, COULD NOT SAY
''YES I CAN-CAN REPEAT MY EFFORT OF LAST TIME''
BUT DID MANAGE TO SAY: ''YES I CAN CAN ~ STEAL THE PRECIOUS!''
UNFORTUNATELY, THE BIRTHDAY FILLY, TIGER DANCER HAD
HER MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE START ~
WE SUSPECT IT MIGHT BE RELATED TO CATNIP & CHIPPENDALES?
$$-HERE IS THE OFFICIAL DANCE CARD RESULTS-$$
WITH A TREMENDOUS SHOCKING UPSET ~
1st ~ POST TIME MIKE === $93.70
*Interesting Note: His Last Win At GPW = $92.30
Florida Must Call To His Polka-Prancin Heart!
~WINNER / TOP DOG~
2nd ~ DUSTY === $59.60
*Her Red Hot 'Dirty-Dancin-Disco' ~ Slowed Way Down To Fox Trot
~DISCO QUEEN / BRIDESMAID~
3rd ~ REAL QUIET === $57.10
*Raucous From The Turn ~ Almost Rowdy Enuff For The Bridesmaid Gown!
"FLOWER-BEARER" 
4th ~ CATALINA{DC} === $47.70
*Cat-Ankerous Can-Can Out Of The Gate
Slowed Down To A Crawling 'Can't Can't' In Final Furlongs
But Consolation Of Stealing The Precious!
~RING-BEARER~ 
--ALSO RAN OR ''SLOW DANCED'' TO THE WIRE--
BLUNNY === $36.10
*'Hippity-Hopped' His Way Into Contention In First Half
Slowed Down To A Bad-Hare-Day In The End
RUFFIAN === $33.40
*Apparently Forgot The Extra Cheetah Vitamins Today
May Have Used Feline-Valium By Mistake?
CRUZAN === $27.80
*Cackled His Crazy Chicken Dance
Gate To Wire With Humor -&- Fun
Just Got In The Way Of Actually 'Running'
THUNDER CAT === $26.10
*Sexy & Sizzlin Salsa At The Start ~ Fizzled -&- Fried Later On
TIGER DANCER === $15.40
*Perhaps Too Distracted By Track Announcer: TONY The TIGER?
Filly Focus Definitely Not On The Tango ~ More Like The Turtle Trot Today
But Never Fear ~ The Case Of Catnip -&- The Chippendale Dancers Await
WE NOW BID YOU A FUN-FILLED FAREWELL FROM GULFSTREAM PARK
WISHING YOU ALL A DANCE CARD WITH HAPPY ENDINGS!
~~Graphics By: TIGER DANCER~~
