DUE TO EL PRADO OVERDOSING ON CATNIP IN THE CAT HOUSE ~
THE ROUSING ROUNDUP OF MIDWEEK MAYHEM SHENANIGANS
WILL BE PRESENTED BY SUBSTITUTE RACE ANNOUNCER
''MZ RUFFIN-IT''
UNFORTUNATELY ~ DUE TO A STUPID ERROR IN JUDGEMENT
OF WHERE TO PUT HER FOOT DOWN ON THE DECK ~ ~ ~ KABOOM!
TYPING HAS BECOME A CHORE INSTEAD OF A JOY
SO THIS PRESENTATION BY THE DAUGHTER OF 'SHENANIGANS'
SHALL BE SHORT & SWEET ~ {{ LIKE HER LIFE }}
WE ARE AT CHARLES TOWN RACETRACK
WHERE COUNTRY ROADS TODAY SEEM TO BE A CHALLENGE
IRONY STARTS THE DAY AS ON *NATIONAL CIGAR DAY*
GUESS WHO DID *NOT* MAKE IT INTO THE GATE!
FEATURE EVENT: ''SMOKIN OR SNUFFED'' STAKES
DEFENDING CHAMP ~ CATALINA HAS 8 CONTENTIOUS CHALLENGERS
THE FIRST HALF FINDS A SNAIL-SLOW FOURSOME LEADING THE WAY
THUNDER CAT, TIGER DANCER, CATALINA, BLUNNY
RUFFIAN IS NEXT FOLLOWED BY DUSTY & EL PRADO
ROAMIN & CRUZAN HANGIN OUT AT THE BACK
THEY FINALLY REACH THE TOP OF THE STRETCH
IN THE SLOWEST FIRST HALF THIS YEAR
THUNDER CAT ~ CATALINA & RUFFIAN LEAD THE WAY
THE PACE WOULDN'T CHALLENGE A SNAIL & A TURTLE
DUSTY IS ANOTHER LENGTH BACK
BLUNNY IS NEXT RUNNING ON A BADLY CHARGED BATTERY
HE HAS A TIGER ON HIS TAIL WHICH HE DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND
ANOTHER BIG GAP WE SEE EL PRADO & ROAMIN JUST
MEANDERING ALONG IN NO HURRY AT ALL
AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME
THUNDER CAT IS BEGINNING TO SHOW SOME SPEED
PULLING AWAY FROM DEFENDING CHAMP ~ CATALINA
CRUZAN IS NOW NECK & NECK WITH CATALINA
RUFFIAN FOLLOWED BY DUSTY ARE NEXT
TIGER DANCER ~ EL PRADO & ROAMIN FAR BACK
AT THE WIRE IT'S ALL THE ROAR OF A THUNDER CAT
DEFENDING CHAMP, CATALINA IN A PHOTO FOR 2ND
REVEALS SHE HOLDS ON BY THE SLIMMEST OF WHISKERS =^..^=
FOR THE BRIDESMAID AWARD INSTEAD OF THE PENTHOUSE
CRUZAN CATCHES THE 'BODACIOUS BOUQUET'
RUFFIAN STEALS 'THE PRECIOUS' KEEPING A SHARP EYE
OUT FOR A LURKING GOLLUM IN THE BUSHES NEAR BY!
$$$ ===== OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH ===== $$$
*** "SMOKIN OR SNUFFED" S ***
{{ SLOWEST SPEED FIGURES OF THE YEAR SO FAR!}}
THUNDER CAT = $46
*** NEW RECORD FOR THE 'LOST IN THE FOG' AWARD ***
PREVIOUSLY HELD BY BLUNNY WITH = $46.20
{{DC}} CATALINA = $36.40
*Decent Effort: Struggled With Track Surface
CRUZAN = $36
*Whisker Or Whiskey Time?
RUFFIAN = $33.20
*Where's A Cheetah When Ya Need One!
===== ALSO RAN =====
DUSTY = $32
BLUNNY = $28
TIGER DANCER = $24.20
EL PRADO = $16
ROAMIN = $15.20
WELCOME TO THE DOG HOUSE
MILK BONE DOG BISCUITS ~ CHEW TOYS ~ VEGAS SHOWGIRLS
AND BEST OF ALL = THE CALCULATOR TO TALLY NEXT WEDNESDAY
WE NOW BID YOU A FAREWELL FROM WEST VIRGINIA
TAKE US HOME, COUNTRY ROADS
