Horse Racing Forum - USA Thoroughbred Races

CONGRATS TO CIGARSHOP WHOSE GUTSY DETERMINATION
IN THE FINAL STRIDES PUT HIS NOSE ON THE WIRE BY A WHISKER
OVER AN EQUALLY DETERMINED BLUNNY WHOSE ENERGIZER BATTERY
WAS JUST AN ITOTA SHORT OF FULLY CHARGED!

VENUE CHOICE: KEENELAND

POST TIMES: 1:05 PM EDT / 12:05 CT / 11:05 MT / 10:05 PT

SCOREKEEPER

BRINGING THE DAY'S RESULTS FROM THE CAT HOUSE
WILL BE CATALINA *IF* HER TECHNICAL ISSUE IS RESOLVED!
THE TWILIGHT ZONE OF CYBERSPACE HAS AN EVIL ELEMENT!

IF CATALINA IS UNABLE TO BRING RESULTS
THEN THE RUFFZILLA SHALL ROAR ON IN TO HELP

RULES ARE ON THE MENU
SCROLL ON DOWN TO FIND
BETTER TO DO IT RIGHT
THAN SEE D.Q. & WHINE!

GOOD AFTERNOON & WELCOME TO MIDWEEK MAYHEM
WE ARE AT KEENELAND RACETRACK WITH BETTER WEATHER!

DUE TO THE LATE SCRATCH OF CATALINA ~
CIGARSHOP WILL HAVE 7 CHALLENGERS TRYING TO PREVENT
A REPEAT WINNING PURRRFORMANCE!

7 IN THE GATE WAITING PATIENTLY FOR A RAUCOUS REAL QUIET
TO STOP HIS 'SHENANIGANS' AND GET HIS TAIL INTO THE GATE!

QUITE UNUSUAL FOR THIS COLT TO 'MISBEHAVE' AS HE IS ALWAYS
THE PERFECT 'GENTLEMAN' SO HIS TRAINER APPEARS TO BE FAIRLY CONCERNED THAT HIS BOY MAY NOT BE FEELING SO PURRFECT?

FINALLY WITH A GENTLE PAT & A PEPPERMINT, HE HAS GONE IN
AND WE ARE READY TO RUN

AWAY THEY GO AS A TRIO OF FRISKY FAST FILLYS TAKE COMMAND

RUFFIAN ~ TIGER DANCER & THUNDER CAT ~ A FELINE TRIFECTA
--- A CHEETAH ~ A TIGER & A CAT WALK INTO A BAR ~
OK ENUFF DISTORTED HUMOR ~ BACK TO THE RACE IN PROGRESS

===== OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME ===

IT IS NOW CIGARSHOP WHO HAS JOINED UP WITH THE 3 FILLYS
MUCH TO HIS DELIGHT FOR SURE AS THIS COLT HAS A BIG SMILE
GRINNING LIKE THE FOX WHO SNUCK INTO THE HEN HOUSE!

IT'S QUITE A WAY BACK TO DUSTY --
FOLLOWED BY CRUZAN AND REAL QUIET

AND EVEN FARTHER BACK IS AN 'UN-ENERGIZER-BLUNNY'
WHOSE BATTERY SEEMS TO BE FALTERING SO FAR!


===== THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH =====

WITHOUT WARNING ~ SUDDENLY THE CROWD IS UP ON THEIR FEET
SCREAMING LIKE BANSHEES AS CRUZAN FROM THE CLOUDS HAS
SPRUNG INTO ACTION PASSING ONE AFTER ANOTHER
TO TAKE OVER TOTAL COMMAND OF THE RACE ~
LEAVING THE 4 IN FRONT IN TOTAL SHOCK & AWE
AS THE COLT FLEW ON BY THEM!

===== AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME =====

CRUZAN ALL ALONE ON THE LEAD BEING CHASED BY 3 FIERCE
FURIOUS FRANTIC FILLYS AS CIGARSHOP SUDDENLY STOPPED
IN HIS TRACKS WHEN CRUZAN HAD FLOWN BY HIM, SO CLOSE
THAT IT STARTLED THE COLT ENOUGH TO LOSE MOMENTUM!

WITH THE WIRE JUST A FURLONG AWAY, CRUZAN APPEARS
COOL ~ CALM ~ COLLECTED & CONFIDENT AS VICTORY APPEARS
TO BE IN HIS RECORD BOOK ~

BUT ~ AS WE ALL KNOW FROM WATCHING HORSES RUN ~
''IT AIN'T OVER TILL THAT STOUT LADY SINGS'' ~

AND THE SONG SHE JUST STARTED SINGING IS .......
''THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE''

NOT JUST ONE, BUT LIKE 2 WILD JUNGLE CATS SEEING PREY AHEAD
RUFFIAN HAS LET HER 'INNER-CHEETAH' COME OUT TO RUN AND
THE TIGER IS DANCING TO HER OWN TUNE AS BOTH FIERCE FILLYS
FLY ON BY THE COLT IN THE LEAD LEAVING HIM WITH A STUNNED
SHOCKED ''NO WAY THIS JUST HAPPENED'' EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE

BOTH FILLYS REACH THE WIRE TOGETHER SO A PHOTO WILL BE
NEEDED TO SEE WHICH CAT GETS THE CATNIP TODAY!


HOLD ALL TICKETS:
OBJECTION LIGHTS FLASHING BY CRUZAN'S JOCKEY
CLAIMING THAT THE FILLYS SQUEEZED HIM SO TIGHTLY
BETWEEN THEM THAT IT CAUSED HIM TO TOTALLY LOSE FOCUS!

AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION & VIEWING THE REPLAY THE STEWARDS
DECIDED THAT ALTHO THE CHEETAH & TIGER HAD COME CLOSE ~
~ NO ACTUAL 'TOUCHING' THE COLT HAD OCCURRED ~
OBJECTION DISMISSED WITHOUT MERIT

SO WE NOW HAVE ANOTHER ENTRY IN THE 'BIG-CAT-DIARY'
WITH THE DANCING TIGER JUST EEEEKING OUT BY A WHISKER
THE VICTORY OVER A COURAGEOUSLY QUIK CHEETAH!

''THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE''
(*Alicia Keys)
Looks like a girl, but she's a flame
So bright, she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can try but you'll never forget her name (Tiger Dancer)

She's on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls say
Oh, she got her feet on the ground
And she's burning it down
Got her head in the clouds
And She's not coming down
Everybody stands, as she goes by
Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes
Watch her when she's lighting up the night
Cause This Girl's On Fire!
===== OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH =====
BIG CAT DIARY EXACTA

TIGER DANCER ============== $142.40
*Danced Her Own Version Of The 'Quik-Step'

THE CHEETAH / RUFFIAN ====== $139.20
*OUCH! $3.20 = The Price For Twisted Whiskers!

CRUZAN ==================== $88.40
*Valium Laced Doggie Biscuits To Soothe This Colt's Ego

THUNDER CAT =============== $45.80
*Tried Valiantly For A 3-Feline-Filly-FurrrFecta

=========== ALSO RAN ===========

(DC) CIGARSHOP ====== $30

BLUNNY ======= ====== $14

DUSTY ====== ======== $11.20

REAL QUIET ===== =====$9.80
*Trainer Had Every Reason For Concern
Rare Trip To Ye Ole Dog House For This Colt!

WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD EVENING
AND A SAFE, SOBER, NON TEXTING DRIVE HOME!

STATS: CELL PHONES CAUSE MORE ACCIDENTS THAN BOOZE!
*** NO PHONE CALL IS EVER WORTH A LIFE ***