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MIDWEEK MAYHEM + BOTS ~ 11/29 *RESULTS* @ TURFWAY PARK
Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:18 am
by RUFFIAN
**CONGRATS TO ---> CRUZAN,
WHO IN HIS FIRST START, MANAGED TO PROVE
HE WAS WORTHY OF RUNNING WITH CHAMPIONS
AS HE DETERMINEDLY HELD OFF A FAST CLOSING CATALINA
TO WIN HIS FIRST RACE!
THE COLTS NOW HAVE ANOTHER IMPRESSIVE RUNNER
UNFORTUNATELY ~ HE HAS NOT NOTIFIED ME IN TIME OF
HIS TRACK CHOICE FOR THIS WEEK, SO I MUST CHOOSE
VENUE: TURFWAY PARK
OUR FEATURE EVENT WILL BE: THE 'FROSTED BUNNY'' STAKES
POST TIME: 6:15 ET // 5:15 CT // 4:15 MT // 3:15 PT
SCORE-KEEPER:
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, SCORING FROM YE OLE DOGHOUSE ~
WILL BE THE 'NOT-SO-ENERGIZED BLUNNY'
WHO ALONG WITH EARNING A COVETED FROSTED WHISKER AWARD,
ALSO RECEIVED A YO-YO-DUDE ACLAIM ~
VAULTING FROM A LOFTY 2x PENTHOUSE TO THE DOG HOUSE
PERHAPS ALL THE R-RATED RUMORS ABOUT THAT PLACE, INSPIRED
HIM TO SLOW DOWN HIS BATTERY CHARGER AND PAY A VISIT -- 
RULES ARE ON THE MENU
SCROLL ON DOWN TO VIEW
BETTER TO DO IT RIGHT
THAN ERRR & SEE D.Q.
Re: MIDWEEK MAYHEM + BOTS ~ 11/29 *RESULTS* @ TURFWAY PARK
Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:36 am
by Tiger Dancer
**POSTING FOR --> THE ENERGIZER BLUNNY....
**RESULTS -- From Turfway Park**
~By: Energizer Blunny~
Turfway Park
Formerly Latonia Park
also know as Jack Entertaiment
Florence, KY
Congradulations to defending Champ -- Cruzan
also a Maiden winner
~BOTS DAY~
Feature Handicap Event:
The Frosty Whiskers
All horses found their way to North KY
The ass't starters are loading all 12 starters into the starting gate.
All are behaving in a professional manner due to their many races
in their long careers. The older horses have a way of behaving well.
However Catalina and Tiger Dancer are starting to act up
being around much OLDER horses.
A couple of strokes behind the ears settle them down.
As the starter moves into position
a fog engulfs the starting gate obscuring the view of the horses.
The start has been put on hold as stewards using night vision binocs
strain to see the horses. They see a figure in front of the 3 outside gates
but unable to ID or see what is going on.
The fog has upset the horses,
Blunny next to Thunder has broken into a sweat.
Cruzan who just broke his maiden is on his knees praying for light.
The Colts out numbered by the fillies are trying to back out
not knowing what evil things the girls plan to do. -- 
A breeze blows the fog away.
10 minutes in the starting gate .....
and Catalina, Cruzan, Cigar and Tiger have dozed off.
The button is pushed and they are on their way.
Wait -- the three outside gates with Peeptoad, Raven & Post Time Mike
have not opened. The ass't starters run to the horses to calm them
as they try to bust thru the gates. It seems someone
has super glued them shut to eliminate some competition. (We all know who)
Cigar, Real Quiet & the Bunny spring to the lead
while the others are engulfed in the returning fog.
The fog is coming from off the front horses.
The stewards see a cigar hit the dirt but couldn't see from whom.
Mean while the track announcer is looking for the horses in the fog.
"What do you call a scary female horse -- A nightmare."
They reach the mile pole with Cigar puffing along,
Bunny and Real Quiet matching strides and ducking dirt from Cigar.
Thunder has the leaders in hearing range -- 
Hearing sounds of Burps or are they??
Ruffian leads a sad group of:
Dusty, Catalina, Tiger and Cruzan in the next zip code.
This is a very slow paced race with the fog giving off bad air and mist.
"How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
Start with a big fortune."
The annoucer, the crowd and the Stewards shout "Here they come finally."
All are happy they will finish before the next race starts.
Ruffian, Blunny, Cigar & Real Quiet
still enjoying the pleasure of a Foursome.
Whips applied as if they have done this in another 'Social Affair'.
Blunny drops a battery or something like that,
Cigar spits tobacco juice at Ruff,
But dribbles down to his shoes and he slips.
Ruff laughing her tail off loses momemtum,
Thus allowing Real Quiet to silently steal the win.
**BOTS won by Colts**
Catalina sitting comfortable in Cat House
"Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
Because they can't achieve full horse power without gas."
This gives one incentative not to finish last.
Real Quiet $65.90 .... assASSin
Ruffian 50.80 .... Looked good finishing 2nd
Cigarshop 49.10 .... report to the stewards
Blunny 45.70 .... another precious
Dusty 38.90 .... a little Rusty
Thundercat 30.50 ... KY Bourbon might help
Tiger Dancer 28.40 ... Doing the Box Step
Cruzan 12.00 ... and you thought it was easy
Catalina 5.40 ... getting to be a habit
~~Graphics By: TIGER DANCER~~
