**TURKEY TROT RESULTS -- 2016** -- Twas the day before Thanksgiving
At a racetrack called CharlesTown
A crazy race day just ahead
With 8 running for the Crown
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen....
Fillies and Colts..... Madames and Messieurs
Welcome to our MWM Main Event....
The Gobble Wobble ~ Turkey Trot ~ Throw Down
In honor of our National Thanksgiving Holiday....Pre Feast Pig Out
We are having our 5th Annual Twisted Turkey Trot .....
Most of America is focused on the Five -F's- of Thanksgiving:
Friends ~ Family ~ Food ~ Football ~ and Fun
....(NOT necessarily in that order)
So, with that in mind, something new this year....
we're going to place our players on teams --
Representing the "A.P. Indy"-Annapolis Colts:
Blunny ~ The Energizer Bunny
John ~The Hammer ~ Henry
Real Quiet ~ The Silencer
Stark ~ The Shark
Representing the "Made in Detroit" Lioness Fillies:
Catalina ~ The Catillac {Smooth, Speedy & Classy}
Dusty ~ The Ravishing Marauder
Ruffian ~ Ruff-Zilla; aka: The Grand Poo-Bah
Tiger Dancer ~ The Stealth Bomber & (The 2015 TT Winner)
**There are a couple notable heavy hitters missing from our line-up today:
Criminal Type (The 2013 TT Winner)
CigarShop (The 2014 TT Winner)
It seems these 2 started their Holiday Celebrating a little early
and were deemed unfit to race today.
Last seen drinking and gambling in the casino till the wee hours.
This event is NOT just about who crosses the wire first!!
There are several other challenges to be determined.
Featuring: The Bridesmaid Stakes.....
Maiden "Special Weight" --(gotta fit in that dress!!)......
Our contestants today are competing for a Bright Neon Green (New color this year)
Taffeta & Tulle Bridesmaid Gown..... with plenty of bows and ruffles!!!!
O Yes......This one must be seen to be believed....but you might need
sun glasses to cut down the day-glow glare
~Like these .....But "Better"~There will also be a Royal Rumble for the Bouquet Toss....
Who will be Flower-Bearer?
Which sneaky / stealthy contestant will "Steal the Precious"
Then there's the highly coveted and sought after....
Key to the Dog or Cat House.
Who will win this Throw-Down......Who will Say Yes to the Dress......
Who will Steal the Precious
And who will be lounging in the Cat / Dog House???
It's a wild and crazy contest day you can be sure --
Our Special Track Announcer for today
Is an outlandish and over the top Mega-Star!!
Back by Popular Demand
The One and Only, Large and in Charge.....
**Dame Edna Everage**
(and if you don't know who she is, Little Possums .. Then Google It)!!!
Dearly Beloved Horse Gang....
We are gathered here today
To witness
This Befuddling, Bewildering and Beddazling event.
The music starts and 8 eager contestants are entering the track
Sashaying out onto the turf like runway models hitting the catwalk.
Glammed up and well Coiffed, from mane to tail
Everyone looking Fierce and Fabulous
They are entering the gate ready to race down the aisle.
....And They're Off.....
Blunny and Catalina broke well and have taken the lead
John Henry is looking strong & is tucked in right behind
The rest of the pack are jockeying for position ---
and there seems to be some less than appropriate behavior:
Clipping, whipping, boxing, biting, bolting,
general mayhem and interference.....
It's just a free for all...
**Save it for the Grid-Iron gang
Catalina appears to be wearing some kind of "new fangled equipment" --
Not sure this will be approved.
Blunny also is sporting some kind of battery pack
Not sure what this is for....
but on this day, it seems almost anything goes
In the home stretch... Blunny & Catalina still lead
John Henry jumps a shadow and falls a bit behind
And The Pack..... are playing Catch Up... Battling On
And are still engaged in less than appropriate behavior.
The Stewards have so many objections...
Lines have been drawn, Flags have been thrown
And even a Glove was tossed about demanding a duel
So, They have thrown in their towels and
have headed to the bar for several strong, stiff drinks!!! --
....Bar Tender askes... Why the long faces --
Now the contestants are turning for home......down the stretch......
heading towards the Alter / Finish Line....
Coming down the aisle in Stealth Mode ....in 4th place is
The "Precious Ring" Thief = DUSTY
The Battle Royale Winner -- in 3rd place....is
The Flower-Bearer = JOHN HENRY
The excitement builds...
Who will be the Bridesmaid and who will be The Bride......
A Photo Finish at the wire
In 2nd place......winning the "Stunning" Lime Green Gown, is....
Bridesmaid = CATALINA
And Blazing his way to the Alter ~~
The Winner's Circle..... is .... The ENERGIZER BLUNNY
**A great win for the COLTS today.....
Cross-Dressers, Drag Queens, Booze Hounds, Bad Behavior,
Thieves, questionable substances and equipment.....
What kind of circus freak show is this anyway??? --
MM TURKEY TROT RESULTS:
-$$-OFFICIAL TOTALS-$$-
**Report any errors to ---> The Grumpy CatZilla in Charge
1st ~ BLUNNY -----------> $64.00
2nd ~ CATALINA --------> $61.80
3rd ~ JOHN HENRY ------> $54.40
4th ~ DUSTY -------------> $48.20
**ALSO RAN**
STARK ----------------> $47.00
REAL QUIET ----------> $39.80
TIGER DANCER ------> $37.40
RUFFIAN -------------> $35.00
**Wins KEY to the Cozy Cat Shack
Before heading off to the parties in the Cat-House and Penthouse
The Gang all got together to feast and celebrate.
Much Thanks And Appreciation to our Wonderful Horse Gang
***************************************************
**RACE CALL AND GRAPHICS BY: ~TIGER DANCER~