SUPURRR~SATURDAY ~ 8/27 *RESULTS* @ SARATOGA
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 6:43 am
**RESULTS**
GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME TO
SUPURRR~SATURDAY AT SARATOGA
THE POST PARADE IS JUST BEGINNING
FOR OUR FEATURE EVENT OF THE DAY
WE HAVE HAD SEVERAL LATE SCRATCHES
LEAVING US WITH A FIELD OF 10
--- BLUNNY'S FLIGHT WAS RE-ROUTED AND LANDED IN TEXAS
--- OAKLAWN CAPPER IS STILL STRANDED IN ARKANSAS
BUT HIS TRAINER INFORMED US HE WILL RETURN SOON
--- REAL QUIET IS MIA AND NOBODY KNOWS WHY -
(ABDUCTED BY ALIENS PURRRHAPS???)
~Oooops; This is Bovine NOT Equine~
THE HORSES ARE STANDING QUIETLY IN THE STARTING GATE
AND JUST WAITING FOR JOHN HENRY TO SETTLE DOWN
AND AWAAAAAAAAAY THEY GO
OUT FOR THE EARLY LEAD IS A TRIO:
OF STARK - CIGARSHOP - PEEPTOAD
BUT THEIR LEAD DOES NOT LAST VERY LONG AS
DUSTY ... RUFFIAN ... TIGER DANCER, HAVE
CAUGHT UP QUICKLY TO THE FRONT RUNNING TRIO
POST TIME MIKE & CATALINA ARE NEXT
AND TRAILING THE FIELD IN THE EARLY GOING
ARE CRIMINAL TYPE & JOHN HENRY
OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME
WITH A NEW LEADER IN COMMAND
RUFFIAN HAS LET HER INNER CHEETAH COME OUT TO RUN...
WITH A BREATHTAKING TURN OF FOOT
TAKING OVER THE LEAD EASILY
TIGER DANCER - PEEPTOAD & DUSTY
ALSO HAVE TURNED UP THE HEAT
SETTING BLISTERING FRACTIONS --- AS THE 4 FILLYS LEAD THE WAY
IT'S JUST A FEW LENGTHS BACK TO STARK
WHO IS RUNNING STRONGLY
AS HE CLOSES THE GAP WITH EVERY STRIDE
POST TIME MIKE - CIGARSHOP & CATALINA ARE ANOTHER 7 LENGTHS BACK
AS CRIMINAL TYPE & JOHN HENRY CONTINUE TO TRAIL
~Heard any good jokes lately??~ -- 
THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH
RUFFIAN SUDDENLY SPOOKED AT SOMETHING
AND IS DROPPING BACK BADLY ....
OPENING THE DOOR FOR TIGER DANCER TO TAKE
COMMAND OF THE LEAD WITH POWERFUL AUTHORITY
STARK IS MOVING UP QUICKLY INTO CONTENTION ---
AND NOW IS JUST 5 LENGTHS BEHIND
THE FREAKY FAST FILLY IN FRONT
AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME
TIGER DANCER IS TOTALLY IN COMMAND
SHOWING INCREDIBLE SPEED ... BLISTERING FRACTIONS
AND SHOWING NO SIGNS OF SLOWING DOWN
IF ANYTHING ... SHE HAS INCREASED HER SPEED
AS THE WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD
SUDDENLY THERE IS A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD
AS EVERYONE IS UP ON THEIR FEET SCREAMING LIKE BANSHEES
WHAT HAS CAUSED ALL THE COMMOTION ---
IS AN EXPLOSIVE LATE RUN BY NOT JUST ONE ... BUT 2 COLTS
WHO ARE CLOSING LIKE TWIN METEORS ACROSS THE SKY
POST TIME MIKE ALONG WITH CRIMINAL TYPE
FROM ANOTHER TIME ZONE
ARE PASSING EVERYONE IN THEIR PATH!
BUT STILL WITH A HUGE AMOUNT OF GROUND TO MAKE UP BEFORE THE WIRE
IT'S DOUBTFUL EITHER COLT CAN WIN
BUT MAY BE FAST ENOUGH TO SNAG A PIECE OF THE PURSE
STARK CONTINUES TO GAIN ON THE FAST FILLY IN FRONT AS NOW
THE RACE HAS TURNED INTO A SERIOUS BATTLE BETWEEN THE
FIERY FILLY & THE COURAGEOUS COLT!
TIGER DANCER WITH ONE MORE ASTONISHING ACCELERATION
AND THE WIRE JUST AHEAD ....
DANCING TO A VICTORY GALLOP SONG IN HER OWN MIND .....
JUST YARDS TO GLORY .....
BUT FOLKS ...... AS WE ALL KNOW --- OVER AND OVER AGAIN --
IT AINT OVER TILL THE STOUT LADY SINGS
AS STARK FIRES A SHOT HEARD ROUND THE TRACK
PASSING THE TENACIOUS TIGER
AND HIS NOSE TOUCHES THE WIRE
TRULY A RACE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS:
TRACK SETTING FRACTIONS
THRILLING FINAL FURLONG
DRAMATIC STRETCH RUN BY ALL FOUR
STARK -- TIGER DANCER -- POST TIME MIKE
AND CRIMINAL TYPE WHO, LIKE THE MASTER THIEF HE IS ...
MANAGES TO STEAL THE PRECIOUS AFTER
WATCHING 9 TAILS IN FRONT OF HIM MOST OF THE RACE
**SUPER "STARK THE SHARK" IS BACK!
$$-OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH-$$
1st ~ STARK ============ $160.00
(NOMINEE FOR CAIXA ELETRONICA AWARD)
~WINNER~ -- 
2nd ~ TIGER DANCER ===== $144.70
(A WINNING EFFORT ON MOST DAYS!)
~RUNNER-UP / BRIDESMAID~
3rd ~ POST TIME MIKE ====== $105.70
(AMAZING CLOSING RUN)
~FLOWER-BEARER~
4th ~ CRIMINAL TYPE ======= $97.60
(TYPICAL THIEF - SNEAK ATTACK TO STEAL THE PRECIOUS)
~RING-BEARER~ 
==== ALSO RAN ====
PEEPTOAD ======= $71.50
(MAY HAVE TRIED TO AVOID GOLLUM AT ALL COSTS!)
DUSTY ========= $69.00
(LET THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES)
RUFFIAN ======== $65.40
(FIRED LIKE A JUNGLE CAT / CLOSED LIKE A SNOOZING KITTY)
CATALINA {DC} ===== $58.00
(COMING OFF 2 BIG WINS, MAY HAVE LOST A BEAT TODAY)
CIGARSHOP ======= $43.20
(NO FIRE TO LIGHT THE STOGIE TODAY)
JOHN HENRY ====== $23.40
(MAY JUST WANNA R&R IN THE DOG HOUSE
WITH BOOZE & BABES!)
**BUT MAY HAVE TO BORROW SOME PLEDGE FROM DUSTY
*********************************************
WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD EVENING FROM SARATOGA
AND A SAFE, SOBER, NON-TEXTING DRIVE HOME
*********************************************
~Graphics By: TIGER DANCER~
GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME TO
SUPURRR~SATURDAY AT SARATOGA
THE POST PARADE IS JUST BEGINNING
FOR OUR FEATURE EVENT OF THE DAY
WE HAVE HAD SEVERAL LATE SCRATCHES
LEAVING US WITH A FIELD OF 10
--- BLUNNY'S FLIGHT WAS RE-ROUTED AND LANDED IN TEXAS
--- OAKLAWN CAPPER IS STILL STRANDED IN ARKANSAS
BUT HIS TRAINER INFORMED US HE WILL RETURN SOON
--- REAL QUIET IS MIA AND NOBODY KNOWS WHY -
(ABDUCTED BY ALIENS PURRRHAPS???)
THE HORSES ARE STANDING QUIETLY IN THE STARTING GATE
AND JUST WAITING FOR JOHN HENRY TO SETTLE DOWN
AND AWAAAAAAAAAY THEY GO
OUT FOR THE EARLY LEAD IS A TRIO:
OF STARK - CIGARSHOP - PEEPTOAD
BUT THEIR LEAD DOES NOT LAST VERY LONG AS
DUSTY ... RUFFIAN ... TIGER DANCER, HAVE
CAUGHT UP QUICKLY TO THE FRONT RUNNING TRIO
POST TIME MIKE & CATALINA ARE NEXT
AND TRAILING THE FIELD IN THE EARLY GOING
ARE CRIMINAL TYPE & JOHN HENRY
OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME
WITH A NEW LEADER IN COMMAND
RUFFIAN HAS LET HER INNER CHEETAH COME OUT TO RUN...
WITH A BREATHTAKING TURN OF FOOT
TAKING OVER THE LEAD EASILY
TIGER DANCER - PEEPTOAD & DUSTY
ALSO HAVE TURNED UP THE HEAT
SETTING BLISTERING FRACTIONS --- AS THE 4 FILLYS LEAD THE WAY
IT'S JUST A FEW LENGTHS BACK TO STARK
WHO IS RUNNING STRONGLY
AS HE CLOSES THE GAP WITH EVERY STRIDE
POST TIME MIKE - CIGARSHOP & CATALINA ARE ANOTHER 7 LENGTHS BACK
AS CRIMINAL TYPE & JOHN HENRY CONTINUE TO TRAIL
THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH
RUFFIAN SUDDENLY SPOOKED AT SOMETHING
AND IS DROPPING BACK BADLY ....
OPENING THE DOOR FOR TIGER DANCER TO TAKE
COMMAND OF THE LEAD WITH POWERFUL AUTHORITY
STARK IS MOVING UP QUICKLY INTO CONTENTION ---
AND NOW IS JUST 5 LENGTHS BEHIND
THE FREAKY FAST FILLY IN FRONT
AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME
TIGER DANCER IS TOTALLY IN COMMAND
SHOWING INCREDIBLE SPEED ... BLISTERING FRACTIONS
AND SHOWING NO SIGNS OF SLOWING DOWN
IF ANYTHING ... SHE HAS INCREASED HER SPEED
AS THE WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD
SUDDENLY THERE IS A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD
AS EVERYONE IS UP ON THEIR FEET SCREAMING LIKE BANSHEES
WHAT HAS CAUSED ALL THE COMMOTION ---
IS AN EXPLOSIVE LATE RUN BY NOT JUST ONE ... BUT 2 COLTS
WHO ARE CLOSING LIKE TWIN METEORS ACROSS THE SKY
POST TIME MIKE ALONG WITH CRIMINAL TYPE
FROM ANOTHER TIME ZONE
ARE PASSING EVERYONE IN THEIR PATH!
BUT STILL WITH A HUGE AMOUNT OF GROUND TO MAKE UP BEFORE THE WIRE
IT'S DOUBTFUL EITHER COLT CAN WIN
BUT MAY BE FAST ENOUGH TO SNAG A PIECE OF THE PURSE
STARK CONTINUES TO GAIN ON THE FAST FILLY IN FRONT AS NOW
THE RACE HAS TURNED INTO A SERIOUS BATTLE BETWEEN THE
FIERY FILLY & THE COURAGEOUS COLT!
TIGER DANCER WITH ONE MORE ASTONISHING ACCELERATION
AND THE WIRE JUST AHEAD ....
DANCING TO A VICTORY GALLOP SONG IN HER OWN MIND .....
JUST YARDS TO GLORY .....
BUT FOLKS ...... AS WE ALL KNOW --- OVER AND OVER AGAIN --
IT AINT OVER TILL THE STOUT LADY SINGS
AS STARK FIRES A SHOT HEARD ROUND THE TRACK
PASSING THE TENACIOUS TIGER
AND HIS NOSE TOUCHES THE WIRE
TRULY A RACE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS:
TRACK SETTING FRACTIONS
THRILLING FINAL FURLONG
DRAMATIC STRETCH RUN BY ALL FOUR
STARK -- TIGER DANCER -- POST TIME MIKE
AND CRIMINAL TYPE WHO, LIKE THE MASTER THIEF HE IS ...
MANAGES TO STEAL THE PRECIOUS AFTER
WATCHING 9 TAILS IN FRONT OF HIM MOST OF THE RACE
**SUPER "STARK THE SHARK" IS BACK!
$$-OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH-$$
1st ~ STARK ============ $160.00
(NOMINEE FOR CAIXA ELETRONICA AWARD)
2nd ~ TIGER DANCER ===== $144.70
(A WINNING EFFORT ON MOST DAYS!)
3rd ~ POST TIME MIKE ====== $105.70
(AMAZING CLOSING RUN)
4th ~ CRIMINAL TYPE ======= $97.60
(TYPICAL THIEF - SNEAK ATTACK TO STEAL THE PRECIOUS)
~RING-BEARER~ ==== ALSO RAN ====
PEEPTOAD ======= $71.50
(MAY HAVE TRIED TO AVOID GOLLUM AT ALL COSTS!)
DUSTY ========= $69.00
(LET THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES)
RUFFIAN ======== $65.40
(FIRED LIKE A JUNGLE CAT / CLOSED LIKE A SNOOZING KITTY)
CATALINA {DC} ===== $58.00
(COMING OFF 2 BIG WINS, MAY HAVE LOST A BEAT TODAY)
CIGARSHOP ======= $43.20
(NO FIRE TO LIGHT THE STOGIE TODAY)
JOHN HENRY ====== $23.40
(MAY JUST WANNA R&R IN THE DOG HOUSE
WITH BOOZE & BABES!)
**BUT MAY HAVE TO BORROW SOME PLEDGE FROM DUSTY
*********************************************
WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD EVENING FROM SARATOGA
AND A SAFE, SOBER, NON-TEXTING DRIVE HOME
*********************************************