**MM - TURKEY TROT 11/25 - *RESULTS* @ WOODBINE
Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:03 pm
**TURKEY TROT RESULTS -- 2015**
Twas the night before Thanksgiving
At a racetrack called Woodbine
A crazy race day just ahead
With a Fabulous Field of Nine
Cigarshop was entered, but apparently started his holiday celebrating early.
So, he was scratched and is lounging around today.
He is "Pimped Out" for the occasion...looking a bit like Hugh Heffner
And Now.... On with the show...
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen....Fillies and Colts..... Madames and Messieurs
Welcome to our MWM Main Event....
The Gobble Wobble ~ Throw Down ~ Turkey Trot
In honor of our National Thanksgiving Holiday.....Pre Feast Pig Out....
We are having our 4th Annual Twisted Turkey Trot .....
This event is not just about who crosses the wire first!!
There are several other challenges to be determined.
Featuring: The Bridesmaid Battle Royale.....
Maiden Special Weight --(gotta fit in that dress!!)......
Our contestants today are competing for a Bright Pumpkin Orange
Taffeta & Tulle Bridesmaid Gown..... with plenty of bows and ruffles!!!!
O Yes......This one must be seen to be believed....but you might need
sun glasses to cut down the day-glow glare
There will also be a Royal Rumble for the Bouquet Toss.... Who will be Flower-Bearer?
And of course.... Which sneaky / stealthy contestant will "Steal the Precious"
Then there's the highly coveted and sought after.... Key to the Dog or Cat House.
Who will win this Throw-Down......Who will Say Yes to the Dress......
Who will Steal the Precious and who will be lounging in the Cat / Dog House???
It's a wild and crazy contest day you can be sure
Our Special Track Announcer for today is the outlandish and over the top Mega-Star!!
The One and Only, Large and in Charge.....
**RuPaul**
...(and if you don't know who she is, Little Possums.... Then Google It)!!!
Dearly Beloved Horse Gang....
We are gathered here today
To witness
this Befuddling, Bewildering and Beddazling event.
The music starts and 9 eager contestants are entering the track
Stepping out onto the turf like runway models hitting the catwalk.
Glammed up and well Coiffed, from mane to tail
Everyone looking Fierce and Fabulous
They are entering the gate ready to race down the aisle.
....And They're Off.....
Criminal Type broke well and has taken the lead
Catalina and Tiger Dancer are looking strong
and are tucked in right behind
The rest of the pack are jockeying for position
and there seems to be some less than appropriate behavior:
Clipping, whipping, boxing, biting, bolting, general mayhem and interference.....
It's just a free for all...
Catalina appears to be wearing some kind of "new fangled equipment" --
Not sure this will be approved.
In the home stretch... Criminal Type leads
But Tiger Dancer starts to roar and finds a little more in the tank
{She heard rumors of a goose on the loose and some kind of turkey buffet}
Catalina jumps a shadow and falls a bit behind
And The Pack..... are playing Catch Up... Battling On
And are still engaged in less than appropriate behavior.
The Stewards have so many objections...
Lines have been drawn, Flags have been thrown
And even a Glove was tossed about demanding a duel
So, They have thrown in their towels and
have headed to the bar for several strong, stiff drinks!!!
....Bar Tender askes... Why the long faces
Now the contestants are turning for home......down the stretch......
heading towards the Alter / Finish Line....
Swooping down the aisle....in 4th place is
The Precious Ring Thief = RAVEN
Battle Royale Winner -- in 3rd place....is
The Flower-Bearer = CATALINA
The excitement builds...who will be the Bridesmaid and who will be The Bride......
A Photo Finish at the wire
Shows the Tiger's Whiskers... Just ahead of Criminal Type
CT yells Objection... Highway Robbery....
Claiming Tiger's Blingy apparel was too sparkly
And the glint got in his eyes!!
In 2nd place......winning the "Stunning" Orange Gown, is....
Bridesmaid = CRIMINAL TYPE
...CT was in a giving mood and decided to give his gown to Real Quiet,
to add to his collection and besides... he has the closet space for it.
CT went with something a bit more Chic.... And more in keeping with his Criminal nature.
and Strutting her way to the Alter ~~
The Winner's Circle...... TIGER DANCER
A nice win for the Fillies today..... Showing off her Valued Assets
Leaving the Colts in the dust and looking Maaahvelous
Cross-Dressers, Drag Queens, Booze Hounds, Bad Behavior,
Thieves, questionable substances and equipment.....
What kind of circus freak show is this anyway??? :headshake:
MM TURKEY TROT RESULTS:
-$$-OFFICIAL TOTALS-$$-
**Report any errors to ---> The Grumpy CatZilla in Charge
1st ~ TIGER DANCER ------- $59.30
2nd ~ CRIMINAL TYPE ------ $58.10
3rd ~ CATALINA ------------ $55.90
4th ~ RAVEN ---------------- $51.60
**ALSO RAN**
RUFFIAN -------------- $47.20 {Just out of the $$ and prizes.... Feeling quite Grumpy!!}
JOHN HENRY --------- $47.10 {Brother... Can you spare a dime... or 2}
BLUNNY --------------- $41.30
REAL QUIET ----------- $21.00
DUSTY ------ 0 ------ Nada, Zip, Zilch
...Not only does she get the Key to the Cat-House
But also a Golden Goose-Egg Award
Before heading off to the parties in the Cat-House and Penthouse
The Gang all got together to feast and celebrate.
Much Thanks And Appreciation to our Wonderful Horse Gang
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**RACE CALL AND GRAPHICS BY: ~TIGER DANCER~