MM SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS ~ 10/30

[RUFFIAN]

WELCOME TO MIDWEEK MAYHEM AT DELTA DOWNS
WE HAVE A SPECTACULAR CARD TODAY AND ----

HOLD ON FOLKS....
JUST GETTING WORD THAT A HUGE DISTURBANCE
HAS BROKEN OUT ON THE TRACK

APPARENTLY A BIZARRE GROUP OF "CHARACTERS"
BROKE THRU BARRIERS AND ARE CAUSING A
MAJOR KERFUFFLE ON THE TRACK

GOING IN FOR A CLOSER LOOK TO SEE WHAT
THIS IS ALL ABOUT

SECURITY HAS BEEN NOTIFIED

THERE IS JUDGE JUDY NEAR THE INFIELD RAIL
OVERHEARD TELLING A FAN~
"WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!"

A FEW YARDS AWAY THERE IS RUMPLESTILTSKIN
MUTTERING TO HIMSELF SOMETHING ABOUT
HAY ~ GOLD & THE PRECIOUS

THE CROWD IS IN AWE OF A WIZARD WHO
APPEARS TO BE TOSSING SPARKLE FAERY DUST
ONTO THE PEOPLE

WE SEE A FIGURE CROUCHING UNDER A BUSH ~
ITS DAFFY DUCK WHO SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD
RUMORS THAT SI ~ PHIL & JACE FROM DUCK DYNASTY
ARE ATTENDING TODAY'S EVENTS
AND AFTER ALL IT IS DUCK SEASON EVE!

TAUNTING THE FANS AT THE RAIL IS
RODEO BARBIE WITH A LASSO IN ONE HAND
AND A SIGN IN THE OTHER THAT SAYS ~
"DUMB BLONDE JOKES ARE 1 LINERS ...
SO MEN CAN UNDERSTAND THEM!"
THIS IS RESULTING IN SOME CHEERS &
SOME DISGRUNTLED BOOING

IT SEEMS THAT SOME CHILDREN ARE RUNNING
IN FEAR AWAY FROM THE TRACK ....
NOW WE SEE WHY
IT'S CHUCKY WHO IS MENACING THEM
GRINNING LIKE A SCAREY BABOON

TRYING TO MAINTAIN A SENSE OF BALANCE IS
STORM ~ A CONSORT WITH THE X-MEN
WHOSE CAPE IS ALMOST LIFTING HER OFF THE
GROUND DUE TO THE HUFFING & PUFFING OF
HOT AIR FROM THE BIG BAD WOLF!

AND NOW SOME OF THE FANS ARE SCREAMING
IN HORROR AS A HEADLESS HORSEMAN IS
HEADING UP THE TRACK

BUT SOMEONE IS FOLLOWING HIM IN STEALTH MODE
IT'S THE NIGHT STALKER, KOLCHAK...
CAREFULLY WATCHING EVERY MOVE

SECURITY HAS ARRIVED ALONG WITH THE
TRACK OFFICIALS TO DETERMINE WHAT IS
CAUSING THIS FRUCKUS!

AFTER SPEAKING WITH THE VARIOUS HOOLIGANS
ON THE TRACK, IT WAS LEARNED THAT THEY
EACH THINK THEY ARE BETTER ~ STRONGER ~
FASTER THAN THE OTHERS & WANT THE TRACK
TO ALLOW THEM TO PROVE IT!

TRACK MANAGEMENT AGREED BUT ALSO REALIZED
THAT CONSIDERING THEIR SIZE, DEMEANOR AND
ATTITUDES ...
A REGULATION STARTING GATE WON'T WORK

THEREFORE THEY WILL BE ASSEMBLED AT A
STARTING LINE & WAIT FOR THE TRACK ANNOUNCER
TO GIVE THE SIGNAL OF .... "BOOOOO!"

SECURITY HAS ASSISTED IN GETTING EVERYONE LINED UP
WITHOUT TOO MUCH OF A FUSS

AND THEY ARE READY TO RUN!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

AND THEY'RE OFF IN THE SPOOKTACULAR EVENT!

TAKING AN EARLY LEAD ARE

DAFFY DUCK TRYING TO ESCAPE
FROM THE DUCK DYNASTY GUYS

THE WIZARD & RODEO BARBIE

JUST OFF OF THAT TRIO ARE
KOLCHAK & CHUCKY

THE BIG BAD WOLF & RUMPLESTILTSKIN
ARE NEXT

JUDGE JUDY SEEMS TO BE INDIFFERENT TO THE WHOLE IDEA OF RUNNING
AND GOING ALONG AT HER OWN RATE OF SPEED WHICH IS PRETTY SLOW

AND AT THE BACK IS STORM TRYING TO
STAY IN FRONT OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WHO IS SCARING EVERYONE IN FRONT OF HIM

HEADING INTO THE STRETCH

KOLCHAK NOW APPARENTLY CONFIDENT THAT HE
HAS NO NEED TO BE STALKING THOSE IN FRONT
OF HIM HAS MADE A LIGHTNING MOVE TO THE
FRONT

THE WIZARD NOT QUITE SURE OF HIS INTENTIONS
AS BEING HONORABLE IS STAYING RIGHT THERE
WITH HIM

CHUCKY & RUMPLESTILTSKIN ARE TUCKED IN
JUST BEHIND THE WIZARD

RODEO BARBIE & DAFFY DUCK
SIDE BY SIDE ARE NEXT

AND NOW THE BIG BAD WOLF HAS HIS EYE
ON STORM HUFFING & PUFFING EVEN HARDER
ALMOST LIFTING STORM'S CAPE LIKE A PARACHUTE

AT THE BACK REMAINS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WITH EVERYONE IN FRONT OF HIM APPEARING TO
BE RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES!

AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME

KOLCHAK GIVING UP HIS STALKING M.O.
HAS SETTLED COMFORTABLY INTO THE LEAD

THE WIZARD NOW TOSSING HIS SPARKLE DUST
INTO THE AIR IS CATCHING UP TO
THE NIGHT STALKER WITH EVERY STRIDE

CHUCKY & RUMPLESTILTSKIN STILL NECK & NECK

AND THE FINISH LINE IS JUST AHEAD
NO PHOTO FINISH TODAY FOLKS!

THE NIGHT STALKER
HAS PROVEN WITHOUT A DOUBT
WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF THEM ALL

THE WIZARD
Still Sparkling Must Be Content With 2nd
~ Not A Happy Wizard Who Usually Controls
His Destiny In All Situations

CHUCKY ~ Smiling With A Fearsome Grin is 3rd

RUMPLESTILTSKIN
Crosses The Line in 4th
Still Muttering About Finding "THE PRECIOUS"
Which Apparently... HE HAS!


ALSO RAN

RODEO BARBIE (Blonde & Happy)
DAFFY DUCK (Escapes From The Duck Dynasty Guys)
JUDGE JUDY (Still Indifferent To It All)
THE BIG BAD WOLF (Frustrated At Not Catching Storm)
STORM (Safe From Wolfie For Now)

AND WAY AT THE BACK....

THE FEARSOME HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS WONDERING
WHERE HE IS AND WHY HE CAN'T FIND THE
FINISH LINE

AFTER A BRIEF NEWS CONFERENCE
THE TRACK OFFICIALS DECLARED THAT
NO FINES WOULD BE IMPOSED
BUT INSTEAD-----

THE HAPPY HERD OF HOOLIGANS WOULD
RECEIVE SOME MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR
ENTERTAINING THE CROWD

MONEY DETERMINED BY THE ORDER OF FINISH

KOLCHAK = $112.50 (FlintKnapper)
THE WIZARD =$72.60 (Dusty: DC)
CHUCKY =$57 (John Henry)
RUMPLESTILTSKIN = $52 (Criminal Type)

RODEO BARBIE = $51.20 (GotaDunQH)
DAFFY DUCK = $42.90 (Elite Mercedes)
JUDGE JUDY = $34.60 (Ruffian)
BIG BAD WOLF = $33.60 (Cigarshop)
STORM = $18.60 (Tiger Dancer)
HEADLESS HORSEMAN = $14.80 (KD)

WE NOW BID U A SAFE, SOBER NON TEXTING
DRIVE HOME & HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

[Tiger Dancer]

JUST A QUICK HELLO......
CONGRATS ON THE FUN...SPOOKY RACE CALL.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN