GOOD AFTERNOON & WELCOME TO SUPURR SATURDAY
AT TAMPA BAY DOWNS
FEBRUARY 8TH IS NATIONAL 'LAUGH & GET RICH DAY'
HONORING THAT HOLIDAY ~ OUR FEATURE EVENT IS
THE 'DISTORTED HUMOR' STAKES
WHO WILL HAVE THE 'LAST LAUGH' AT DAY'S END?
WITH LATE SCRATCHES OF: BRI, CATALINA, RAVEN
DEFENDING CHAMP, REAL QUIET, WILL HAVE 8 CONTENTIOUS
CHALLENGERS ALL TRYING TO SILENCE THE QUIET ONE
THE NIMBLE NINE ARE IN THE GATE & READY TO ROCK + ROLL
AND AWAY THEY GO IN THE ''DISTORTED HUMOR'' STAKES
IT'S DEFENDING CHAMP, REAL QUIET & DUSTY TAKING A
QUICK EARLY LEAD WHICH LASTS ABOUT 5 STRIDES ~
UNTIL THE DOUBLE DANGER FELINE THREAT ~ TIGER & 'CHEETAH'
PASSES BOTH OF THEM AS IF THEY WERE WALKING!
TIGER DANCER & RUFFIAN HAVE TAKEN THE FIELD INTO THE TURN
BY AT LEAST 30 LENGTHS WITH INCREDIBLE SPEED & POWER
OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME
DUSTY WITH AN AMAZING TURN OF FOOT HAS JOINED THE
DYNAMIC DUO IN THE LEAD AS THESE 3 FILLYS HAVE TAKEN
A TOTALLY UNCONTESTED COMMAND OF THE RACE!
IT'S A LONG LONG WAY BACK TO THE REST OF THE RUNNERS
LIKE WATCHING 2 SEPARATE RACES!
REAL QUIET, POST TIME MIKE, BLUNNY, ROAMIN
FOLLOWED BY CRUZAN & THUNDER CAT
THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH
TIGER DANCER WITH A SUDDEN SURGE OF SUPURRR-SONIC SPEED
HAS SOARED TO THE LEAD UNCONTESTED
DUSTY IS LOSING MOMENTUM AS RUFFIAN HAS TURNED HER
'INNER-CHEETAH' LOOSE WITH A RESOUNDING ROAR
PURRR-FOUND POWER & PURRR-SISTENCE PASSING DUSTY
IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO POST TIME MIKE WHO FINALLY FOUND
HIS BEST STRIDE, MOVING UP DESPERATELY TRYING TO CATCH
THE RUNAWAY FREAKISHLY FAST FILLYS IN FRONT
ROAMIN IS STARTING TO SHOW SIGNS OF LIFE
ANOTHER 20 LENGTHS BACK IS DEFENDING CHAMP, REAL QUIET
WHO QUICKLY SAW HIS CHANCES OF A REPEAT DISAPPEAR
WHEN THE GATES OPENED
THE 'ENERGIZER-BLUNNY' IS NEXT, BUT HOPPING ALONG ON A
1/4 CHARGED BATTERY TODAY
CRUZAN NOT CRUISIN' MUCH TODAY IS NEXT
FOLLOWED BY A TEDIOUSLY TEPID TURTLE TEMPO THUNDER CAT
AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME
THE ''BIG CAT DIARY'' TALE OF TWIN TAILS IS UNDERWAY
AS TIGER DANCER & RUFFIAN
HAVE SEPARATED THEMSELVES FROM THE REST BY 30+ LENGTHS
DUSTY IS STILL ENGAGED BUT SHOWING FAR LESS ENERGY
POST TIME MIKE IS GAINING, AND NOW JUST 6 LENGTHS BACK
TRYING TO CATCH THE LEG WEARY DUSTY IN FRONT OF HIM
SUDDENLY IT IS TIGER DANCER WHO SEEMS TO BE THINKING
''OK, ENOUGH OF THIS DYNAMIC-DUO BIG-CAT-COMPETITION ~
TIME TO ROCK & ROLL & ROAR TO A RESOUNDING 1-CAT FINISH!''
AND THERE SHE GOES, FOLKS!
JUST WHEN YA THOUGHT THE TIGER HAD USED UP ALL THE
FELINE FUEL IN THE TANK ~ ANOTHER BODACIOUS BURST OF
PROFOUND POWER HAS LEFT RUFFIAN BEWILDERED & BAFFLED
NO DOUBT TODAY WHO HAS THE 'DISTORTED HUMOR' LAST LAUGH
ALL THE WAY TO THE WINNER CIRCLE & FELINE PENTHOUSE
ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE ''BIG-CAT-DIARY NOW IN THE BOOKS
DUSTY FINDS ENOUGH TO HOLD ON IN 3RD TO COMPLETE A
FESTIVE, FORMIDABLE, FLAMBOYANT FILLY TRIFECTA
POST TIME MIKE ~ THE ONLY COLT IN VIEW IS NEXT
AND WILL HEAD TO THE SHIRE TO STEAL 'THE PRECIOUS'
$$$$$ OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH $$$$$
THE 'DISTORTED HUMOR' STAKES
{{ REPORT $$$ OBJECTIONS TO THE CAT-IN-COMMAND }}
RUFFIAN333@webtv.net
TIGER DANCER = $182.40
* Just $4 Short Of The Caixa Eletronica For This Year! Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrow!
Electrifying Effort Gate To Wire!
RUFFIAN = $104.20
* A Sensational Scary Stumble In The Final Furlong, Costs A Victory
A 'Cat-Astrophic 'JehoZCat' Calamity!
Bewildered, Befuddled BridesMaid'
DUSTY = $88.80
*Sensational Speedy Start, Leg Weary Final Furlongs
Stays Strong Enough To Catch The Bodacious Bouquet
POST TIME MIKE = $75.40
*Decent Effort Trying To Catch The Formidable Fillys In Front
$$$$$ ALSO RAN $$$$$
ROAMIN = $56.20
{{DC}} REAL QUIET = $37.30
BLUNNY = $31
CRUZAN = $25.40
THUNDER CAT = $0 OMG!
*** GOLDEN GOOSE EGG ***
WE NOW BID YOU A FOND FAREWELL FROM FLORIDA
WISHING ALL TO HAVE THE LAST LAUGH TODAY
HAPPY DISTORTED HUMOR
BECAUSE SADNESS AND TEARS ARE A WASTE OF ENERGY!
BE SAFE, BE SOBER, BE PHONE-FREE WHEN BEHIND THE WHEEL
THE LIFE U SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN!
THE ''DISTORTED HUMOR'' STAKES 
