WELCOME TO MIDWEEK MAYHEM + BOTS DAY
AT PENN NATIONAL WHERE OUR FEATURE EVENT IS
=== THE TIGER DANCER BIRTHDAY BASH STAKES ===
WE HAVE A FINE FIELD OF NINE READY TO RUN
AS CRIMINAL TYPE WILL TRY TO REPEAT HIS
VICTORY GALLOP OF LAST WEEK
THE HORSES ARE LOADING CALMLY... EXCEPT FOR TIGER DANCER
WHO IS DANCING & PRANCING LIKE ONE OF SANTA'S REINDEER ----
THE FILLY OBVIOUSLY HAS NO INTENTION OF GOING IN
BUT SUDDENLY -- FOR NO APPARENT REASON ---
CIGARSHOP WHINNIED AT HER
WHICH MADE HER STOP HER SHENANIGANS AND WALK INTO THE GATE
AS IF HER 'GOOD GIRL' SIDE SUDDENLY WOKE UP
NOW FINALLY WE ARE READY TO ROCK & ROLL & RUN
"AND............................ THEY'RE OFF
IN THE "TIGER DANCER BIRTHDAY BASH STAKES"
SEVEN OF NINE AWAY IN GOOD ORDER LEAVING
JUST DEFENDING CHAMP CRIMINAL TYPE & DUSTY
TRAILING THE FIELD SHOWING NO SPEED YET
===== OUT OF THE TURN HERE THEY COME =====
AND NOW WE SEE TWO COLTS + A FILLY HAVE EMERGED
WITH A HUGE LEAD OVER THE REST OF THE FIELD
JOHN HENRY ----- CATALINA ----- CRIMINAL TYPE
SHOWING BRILLIANT SPEED HAVE LEFT THE FIELD
IN THEIR WAKE LIKE A TORNADO THRU KANSAS
THE NEXT TIER -- 15 LENGTHS BACK CONSISTS OF
BLUNNY --- RUFFIAN -- CIGARSHOP--- REAL QUIET
IT'S ANOTHER 10 LENGTHS BACK TO THE 2 FILLIES ~
=> TIGER DANCER & DUSTY
WHO MUST THINK THIS IS JUST A WORKOUT
------ NOT AN ACTUAL RACE
THEIR JOCKEYS ARE TRYING THEIR BEST TO
ENCOURAGE SOME INTEREST IN RUNNING
BUT SO FAR .......... IT AIN'T WORKIN!
=== THEY'RE AT THE TOP OF THE STRETCH ===
AND NOW IT'S CRIMINAL TYPE WHO HAS SEPARATED
HIMSELF FROM JOHN HENRY LIKE A THIEF RUNNING
AWAY FROM THE POLICE IN HOT PURSUIT!
JOHN HENRY SEEMS TO HAVE SPOOKED AT SOMETHING
ON THE TRACK AND IS BACKING UP
CATALINA IS RUNNING EVENLY BUT NOT GAINING
ANY GROUND ON THE FRONT RUNNING LEADER
REAL QUIET SUDDENLY AWAKENED AND IS FINDING
HIS BEST STRIDE PASSING TIRED HORSES
IT'S 5 LENGTHS BACK TO RUFFIAN -- BLUNNY & CIGARSHOP
WHO SEEM A BIT SLUGGISH TODAY ---
PERHAPS FINDING THIS TRACK SURFACE CHALLENGING?
AND BACK IN ANOTHER TIME ZONE ARE THE 2 SNAILS
AKA => TIGER DANCER & DUSTY
=== AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME ===
CRIMINAL TYPE LEADING THE WAY BOLD & BRAVE
REMINDING FANS WHY IS THE REIGNING HOTY
REAL QUIET IS GAINING GROUND ON THE LEADER
WITH EVERY STRIDE AND NOW IS WITHIN JUST 5 LENGTHS
SUDDENLY THEIR IS A GIGANTIC ROAR FROM THE CROWD
AS SOMEONE IS FLYING UP THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACK
THRU HORSES LIKE THE PARTING OF THE RED SEA
IT'S CATALINA WHO HAS SURGED THRU TRAFFIC
WITH SUPER SONIC SPEED TO PASS REAL QUIET ---
WHO APPEARS A BIT STUNNED AS THE FILLY FLIES BY
CATALINA IS ALL OUT TRYING TO CAPTURE THE LEAD
FROM THE MASTER THIEF, CRIMINAL TYPE WHO IS
SHOWING NO SIGNS OF SLOWING DOWN
REAL QUIET HAS FOUND YET ANOTHER GEAR AND
NOW IS RIGHT AT THE TAIL OF CATALINA
JOHN HENRY TRYING TO HOLD ON
AND THE WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD
CRIMINAL TYPE WITH FIERCE DETERMINATION
CATALINA THE CO-HOTY DIGGING DEEP IS WITHIN
HALF A LENGTH OFF THE LEADER
THE CROWD IS GOING WILD WITH A DEAFENING ROAR
THE LOWER TONE OF MEN YELLING FOR CRIMINAL TYPE
THE HIGHER PITCHED VOICES OF WOMEN SCREAMING
CATALINA'S NAME
A TRUE BATTLE OF THE CHAMPIONS
IT DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS FOLKS!
THE CO-HOTY WINNERS OF THIS YEAR LOCKED IN
AN ALL OUT DESPERATE RUN TO THE WIRE
AND WHAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE THRILLING IS
=======> TODAY IS THE BOTS CHALLENGE
CRIMINAL TYPE DETERMINED TO WIN FOR THE COLTS
CATALINA FIERCE & FIERY FOR THE FILLIES
AND HERE'S THE WIRE..........TOO CLOSE TO CALL!
IT LOOKS LIKE CRIMINAL TYPE HAD HIS NOSE
ON THE WIRE FIRST BUT THE PHOTO WILL CONFIRM
HOLD ALL TICKETS TILL IT'S OFFICIAL
STEWARDS ARE EXAMINING THE REPLAY
PLUS OBJECTIONS ARE FLASHING ON THE TOTE BOARD
OK --- IT'S NOW OFFICIAL
CRIMINAL TYPE HAS CAPTURED THE WIN FOR THE
COLTS AND WILL RUN FOR A 3-PEAT NEXT TIME
CATALINA SHOWING A TREMENDOUS TURN OF FOOT
WORTHY OF A ZENYATTA TYPE CLOSING RUN IS 2nd
REAL QUIET OFF TO A SLOW START FOUND HIS BEST
STRIDE IN THE FINAL FURLONGS TO TAKE THE SHOW SPOT
JOHN HENRY WHO SHOWED BRILLIANT SPEED IN THE
FIRST HALF, SPOOKED IN THE FINAL FURLONGS BUT
STILL MANAGED TO HOLD ON & STEAL 'THE PRECIOUS'
$$-OFFICIAL ORDER & PAY OUTS-$$
1st ~ CRIMINAL TYPE (DC) ===== $74.00
2nd ~ CATALINA =========== $70.40
3rd ~ REAL QUIET ========== $61.00
4th ~ JOHN HENRY ========== $54.40
~RING-BEARER~=== ALSO RAN ===
RUFFIAN ============== $37.20
BLUNNY ============== $32.20
CIGARSHOP ============ $20.00
TIGER DANCER ========== $7.40
PERHAPS TOO MUCH BIRTHDAY CAKE & CATNIP?
D U S T Y ============= $5.40
TOO MUCH PARTYING IN YE OLE CAT HOUSE?
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WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD EVENING
AND SAFE, SOBER -- NON TEXTING DRIVE HOME
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